There’s a light switch
Constantly being turned on
Too much noise in my head
A void in my soul.
What a colorful universe!
Full of black holes.
I’m laughing like a maniac
Talk to me and you’re dead.
Let’s go for a run
I’ll just lie in my bed.
Pretty shop windows!
Grey metal gates.
I want to go home.
I want to escape.
I make garlands from words.
I tear them off.
Butterflies in my stomach
I don’t believe in love.
My hobbies include
Staring at the sun
Walking through glass
Playing with fire
Running into tsunamis
And placing my heart on windowsills
To savor the adrenaline rush
As I watch it fall.
You’ll have a bitter taste in your mouth
From something someone said
Something someone didn’t say
A memory coming out of nowhere
The thought of a missed chance
The guilt of living too less
The guilt of living too much
The guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt
For anything and everything
And something and nothing
Some days, you’ll feel every atom in your soul
Weighing you down
From the guilt of existing.
And you’ll know how it really tastes
To be alive.
sitting by a campfire
in the darkest of nights
and the softest of breezes.
As warm as I could get
yet not warm enough.
And as I slowly drown in this cosiness
i know i can never get too close
without burning myself.
There are so many things I have to tell you.
Like how I rode a horse this morning
How it almost jumped off the bridge we were crossing
How good it felt to hold on to its smooth mane
And to recover from the anticipation of falling.
How disappointed I was when I woke up
How shaken I was at the realness of the dream
How I can still feel it’s smooth neck
Brushing against my tensed skin.
There are so many dreams I have to tell you about
Dreams that no one cares about
Dreams only you would hear about
Dreams that help me go on
Even on sunless mornings.
Like that one time I was looking for a key
Hidden under layers of reality
On some cold night covered with vivid constellations.
And under the stars I felt like I saw you.
And although I couldn’t remember how you looked
You’d never looked more perfect or true.
Someday I will tell you all about these
All about every thing I ever dreamed
While your eyes get heavy with sleep
Your voice gets blurry and weak
And we’ll dream together
Of all the horses
We never rode.
You’re a pixelated reality
A handful of insanity
A trigger to some vanity
The unuttered profanity
That threatens inhumanity
An uncalled for calamity
That drills through my sanity
Falls before no immunity
And pulls stronger than gravity
Drenched in its naïvity
And merciless audacity
A rebel ‘gainst felicity
A display of monstrosity.
A people-less community.
The darkest part of this dark city.
Like dark matter
And one day,
Something in the universe shifted.
As if a long forgotten veil had been lifted.
The winds seemed to shiver in awe
Of the new life she had been gifted.
No one else noticed.
No one had to know.
Perhaps it was the soft, ultrasonic laughter of the angels
At the mighty way their Lord answered a shabbily constructed dua
Of a slave drowning in sins.