Obsessive Compulsive Snores

1:33 AM, says the black bar on top of my phone screen.
The blue rays from the CPU keep blinking like crazy
My eyes all hazy
From lack of sleep.
The occasional beep
Of midnight trucks
Pierce my insomniac ears.

My brother’s sobs have turned to snores,
His unstraightened bedsheet waits of course.
What could be worse
Than having to sleep on a bed without fixing the sheet?
What could be worse
Than keeping a book at a different angle from the one beneath it?
What could be worse
Than washing one hand but keeping the other dry?
What could be worse
Than closing your door but not tapping it a second time?
What could be worse
Than getting hurt on just one side of your symmetrical body?
What could be worse
Than putting an unwanted pen mark on your math homework copy?
What could be worse
Than the papers you’d spent ages aligning perfectly being scattered?
What could be worse
Than hearing your sisters say “Stop acting so crazy, it doesn’t matter!”

It’s okay, he’s asleep.
He’ll forget about the bedsheet in the morning.
He’ll have the toothpaste on his brush to worry about
And his sandals to carry about
With just the equal amount of pressure on each feet every time he steps.
And when the food on his plate looks so annoying that he has to ask for another plate
He’ll relinquish the last traces of his memories of tonight’s unfixed bed.
Maybe he’ll scratch his right cheek with his right hand
And then scratch his left cheek with his right hand
And then rub the nails of his left hand across the table
To give them a share of the pleasure
But maybe they’ll get too much
And maybe he’ll have to scratch another facial muscle.
And go on repeating until his muscles are numb from the pangs of equality 
And his nails can spell out tranquility.
It’s okay. It’s fine.
It doesn’t matter.
He’s just crazy.
And one day he’ll realize that.
It will all be fine from then.

1:56 AM, says the black bar on top of my phone screen.
The blue rays from the CPU still blinking like crazy
My brother snores as peacefully as someone without OCD,
Waiting for the next day’s imperfections to align just perfectly.
It’s okay. It’s fine.
One day he’ll stop acting crazy.

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Some Resources To Help With Hifz

APPS:

  1. Quran Memorization (Hafiz)

Set the particular Surah or verse(s) you want to memorize, and this app will play it on loop, while you can read along at the same time. You can choose the reciter. You can also specify how many times you want the verses to repeat.

App size: 48 MB

  1. e Hafiz (Easy Quran Memorizer)

This is similar to the one above, except that the ayahs repeat in an infinite loop until you stop it. It comes with several themes and options.

App size: 1.8 MB

  1. AnkiDroid Flashcards

This might be a bit hard to grasp at first, but once you master how to use this app it can be a great help in sha Allah. AnkiDroid lets you learn using flashcards (images or texts that you have to input beforehand) by showing them just before you would forget. It uses the ‘spaced repetition’ concept and reminds you what to revise just at the right time.

App size: 6.43 MB

  1. Tafsir Ibne Kathir – English

Checking out the explanation of what you’re memorizing not only gives you a deeper insight to the surah and its background, but also helps you get the ayahs into your long-term memory easier and much quicker bi idhnillaah. [You can search for other Tafsir apps too, or buy a good Tafsir volume in hardcopy. Nothing beats reading an actual book!]

App size: 4 MB

EBOOKS:


I Wanna Be A Haafidha Too

Causes That Aid In The Memorization Of The Noble Quran
By Shaykh Mahmood al-Misri

Golden Rules For Memorizing The Quran

ARTICLES:

An interview with an O-level student who memorized the Quran

[Interview] Inspiring Tips to Memorize the Qur’an

Practical steps for memorizing the Quran

13 Steps To Memorize The Quran by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi

8 Useful Tips To Memorize The Glorious Quran

Tips to Help You Memorize the Quran, Part I

How To Memorize The Qur’an And Not Forget It! (Muslimmatters)

15 Reasons Why All Of Us Should Have A Habit Of Memorizing The Quran

MORE:

If you want to memorize specific parts of the Quran, check http://www.mounthira.com/

Another useful software/site: http://www.qurantracker.com/

ADVICE FOR THE MEMORIZER:

When Your Hands Are Tied Up

Imagine earning money, but not being able to give away a single penny.
Imagine memorising breathtakingly long and amazing surahs of the Quran, but not being able to recite them in your Salah.
Imagine learning things, gaining ilm, but not being able to teach them to a single soul.
Imagine knowing about the immense virtues of a good deed but not being able to get yourself to do it.
Imagine having a pen, but not being able to write.

Imagine your hands being tied up. Tied up in the strongest of loops. By the Lord of the Worlds Himself.

Maybe you sinned too much.
Maybe you sinned too much AND didn’t repent.
Maybe you wasted away your blessings.
Maybe you ignored the light inside of you and outside of you and all around you and thus, passively chose a path of darkness.
And by giving so much leeway to your Nafs, you sealed off your own door to good deeds.
You shut your eyes, only to open them and find your heart shut as well.

“Whomever Allah guides,  none can misguide him. And whomever Allah misguides, none can guide him.”  None.

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